An Egyptian man from a wealthy family, frustrated over being denied marriage to a woman from a lower-class family, cut off his own penis.  Apparently he’s never heard of eloping.

A new audio message by suspected leader of Al Qaeda and terror master-mind Osama Bin-Laden, condemning President Obama and his foreign policies, surfaced on Wednesday as Mr. Obama begins a diplomatic trip to Saudi Arabia.  Bin-Laden’s last video message came in 2007 prompting analysts to speculate that the terror-leader prefers the less time-intensive audio production to video transmissions, which would make him a PC.

In entertainment news, former Back Street Boy Lance Bass is in talks to record an album with Europe’s sensation Susan Boyle, tentatively titled Lance ‘n Boyle.

Newt Gingrich apologized for calling supreme court nominee Judge Sotomayer a racist. Trying to avoid further controversy, Gingrich said, “I’m sorry; I meant to call her a racist woman.”

According to a new study, images of teens smoking have decreased in blockbuster movies.  On the rise: images of sexually awkward, pre-pubscent, horn dogs with a penchant for fart jokes and a keen sense of comic irony.